Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Time Passes

Yes it does. The cycle of days and nights, winters and springs. Every day the sun shines for half of the world at a time, and every day it keep on shining.

Looking at the world from the stars, what strange creatures we must seem. Mothers leaving their children. Battered wives and runaway teenagers. Football must look really strange, as well as ice hockey. What about the inside of your house? When the doors are closed and there is no one looking, what is your house like? Would people be shocked to see how you are sometimes? Probably. Could you be nicer to your loved ones at home? Yup. And what about our precious children?

Time passes. Children grow. Maybe they remember all the bad things....and grow up to have internal resentments that are real and lasting. Maybe they don't remember all the good things....and then they miss out on remembering that their childhood was actually pretty cool. And what happens when these children grow up and become parents themselves?

If we are blessed, if we are lucky, and with God by our side.....maybe some kids become good parents because they never want to be anything like their own parent. Maybe this child learned all the ways of how NOT to be a parent, because their own role models failed them.

Nonetheless, when that baby cries and you've already fed, burped, changed the diapers, put gum anesthetic for must remain patient. The baby does not know that (s)he has fingers or toes. How many times have you seen a parent in a store, with a screaming child saying, "I don't like that." What if the child was 3 years old, 5 years old, 7 years old, and was still screaming the same thing?

At some point, all parents have to ask themselves a question. Who is the Parent, and who is the Child?

I wonder what would happen if we reminded our children of this tier of responsibility...and if we reminded them more often. Who is the Parent, and Who is the Child? Children are not supposed to make all their own decisions....that is what growing up is all about. So if you have a family reunion, a pool party, or any other event wherein the child refuses to go, you have a problem. If the child is 3 years old and thereby shorter than you, perhaps it would be best to introduce this concept of Parent vs. Child......because I find that it is intuitive to children. They know the structure of the family. They want to be parented. They want their parents to have their best interests in mind... and they flourish in a nurturing environment with structure.

Bedtime is bedtime. Eat your breakfast. Wash your hands.

But not with every breath. Sometimes, we forget to encourage our children with positive concepts. I really appreciate how well you behaved today. Let's go to the park and take the dogs, to celebrate just being together. We don't need a movie, the TV set, special clothes, or a rhinestone purse. All we need to do is to give our children the structure that they yearn for.....and they can really thrive.

We want our children to thrive. To be innocent for as long as possible. To be protected from the outside world. To be precious little persons who look up to Mommy and Daddy.

So time passes. Will it be 'Cats in the Cradle' for you, or will you put yourself into the eyes of your own child? Is this where you thought your life would lead you? To this point of despair and contrition ... so that maybe one day you will forgive yourself.

Just take one day at a time. Do the best that you can with every sentence you speak. Do the best to use every chance you get, to show love. If we just look into the eyes of our children, do we not see ourselves and remember?

We have to remember the precious and innocent nature of children. Protect them from harm. Guide them. They are not our Friends. We are their Parents. Our job is not to just raise them to grow up.

Our job is to raise them to be acceptable to the social norms, teach them the importance of being polite, and to let them speak their minds. I pray with each day, that our children can be themselves and not be crushed by outside forces that are meant to pull them away from themselves.

For they need to find themselves, and we need to show them. Help them. Let us not be remiss in this duty. Let us know that these children will grow up and remember. What will they remember? Only you know. LoLv.

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