Thursday, March 8, 2012

She Had to Do It

It was bitter.

In fact, it had surrounded her. It had stifled her nature and panicked her soul. Yet it had allowed her to forge on with a great tenacity that she never knew she possessed.

But she had a reason for this tenacity, this perseverance. She held on to it because she thought that she deserved the right to have it. She just wanted people to move out of her way so that there was room to tackle the next trial. Perhaps it was a 'Survival' of sorts, the kind that leaves one blind to the perimeter. Certainly the blindness was comprehensive. She just was not herself. She was a new person.

In all its bitterness, she tried to step outside of this fierce wind. The physical forces threatened to take her to places that she did not want to go. She fell. She got up. Then she fell. There she was again, on the floor. There she was again, scratching and clawing. She struggled to get up and in one breath, she was lashed down again. Over and over, with the repetition of a ticking clock, she was struck down. Up again. Down again.

Another person would have crumbled. Some one else was still lying on the same floor, and could not get up. Yet another person shrunk back instead of facing this wind, and the great tide continued to blow. And the usual person? The usual person harbored black bitterness and sultry hatred that sunk to the very soul. The usual person forgot how to smile.

She did not know what it was that made her fight. Perhaps it was innate, perhaps it was learned. Perhaps she just gave up her life to the Lord every single day, every single moment, and was simply blind in her faith.

Whatever it was, she had it.

It Wasn't by Choice.  It Wasn't Her Choice. 

She had to do it. She had to Survive.

There were no other options.

And she had to come out smiling.

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