Monday, February 20, 2012


Are you a single woman who is wondering why a good man is so hard to find? Ah. You do find yourself in good company with many other women who have the same sentiment. Why is this so?

There are many single women in the USA who are feeling that a man is hard to find.  Of course, you are not alone. One thing is for certain. In the USA, there are fewer married men today, on this date, than in the last 50 years (1). So don't squeek and squalk about this statistic; just know that this is the way that things are today. It is not about 'you'. ;-).

There is much controversy about why this is so. No one really knows the answer, and we can talk about this separately. But part of the reason for this statistic has to do with delayed marriage time for women seeking a career, technological advancements that leave the laboring man out of a job, the increased unemployment rate, birth control, household technology, changes in wage structure, and changes in the legal structure of marriage (2). In this succinct report of 2007, Stevenson and Wolfers also analyze the 'shock' of internet dating and matching avenues that provide yet another reason for change. Women and children are also a focus on the economic impact of the American Family, with our American children of Single Women perhaps subscribing to have the most difficult times.

We bring this forward to you as a starting place for discussion about sexuality in women. This information is broadly discussed and debated, yet the important take-home message is this: If you are a single woman, there is nothing wrong with you. Times are difficult for new marriages, especially if the man does not have employment.

Be strengthened by this news. You can move forward with your own life, making yourself the best person that you can be. Whether you are single or married, you have to take care of you, especially if you have children.

You have charm and grace. You possess insight, intuition, and intelligence. No one can determine your destiny except for you. Instead of being the victim of adverse circumstances (which arise every day), rise above them and take them on as a challenge. MAN UP ;-) to what life throws at you. Life is not fair.... ..  But it is colorblind. No one is exempt from this 'unfairness'. So one person does one thing in a situation, and another person does another thing. Both are faced with the same circumstance. How is it that one person thrives on challenges, and another one folds? One stands up and shouts...the other sits down and cries. Go ahead and cry. But eventually, you will have to stand up.

You be strong. You make the choice to learn and grow. You are sitting on a surf board. There are many surfers around you. Many waves come in with the tide. Not every surfer takes every wave. Right? If every surfer took every wave, no one would be able to surf.

So what do you do? Here is my recommendation:

Sit. Sit strong. Let the bad waves go on. Know that they will come. It is all part of the journey. Watch others as they take the bad waves; learn from them and grow.

Choose your waves. Let your heart sing as you choose a wave. Be determined that no matter what, it will be a ride that you are on. Take it on full force.

And when you decide to take on a wave, you make that decision and you go with it. Forget the rest of the world. Do your best, and know that you did your best. Choose every move wisely.

And know that if you fall, you fall into the water. Get up again. For certainly, there will be another wave coming right at you.

Never loose sight.

Keep your focus.



(1) Greenwood, Michael and Adam Looney.  The Marriage Gap: The Impact of Economic and      Technological Change on Marriage Rates.; Monday, February 20, 2012.
(2) Stevenson, Betsy and Justin Wolfers. Marriage and Divorce: Changes in their Driving Forces.; Journal of Economic Perspectives: Vol 21 (2), pp 27-52, Spring 2007.


  1. LOVE THIS!! "Waves inspire me - not because they soar high - but because they rise again after falling." WE WILL RISE. :)

  2. How wonderful! There is much that we can learn from the beauty of God's work. Living in Southern California definitely leaves one with a lasting impression of the ocean! Life is a wave! Wait for the best waves, and ride them with all your gusto!


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