Thursday, November 12, 2009

Revamping the Past

Eons ago, I was a rotten egg with hydrogen sulphate (H2S) irradiating from my breathe, my skin, and my sweat. I heard the hum, drum and the constant drip, drop that every anesthesiologist knows......keep those drips going.

Since then, I wrote a book, printed it out, and passed it around. It has brought positive reviews, especially from people suffering in this hell we call dysautonomia. The invisible disease. The psychologic disease. Bodies Dropping on the Floor.

I am blessed with my YT friends, especially luminescentfeeling (#1 Fan), ducbert, kaazoom, chronicallykyli, radlikemad, and pastorgreg and Jeff, my solid rock of dedication. For this I am blessed.

Since the last writing, I chopped my hair and became a blonde. I..purchased a car pretty much on my own...I pushed the envelope on my family.....and today I puked and am resting in bed. I want everyone to know how lovely it feels and how wonderful it is to talk to other human beings who have your same illness. No one else knows what to say. No one else knows what to do. At times when I needed to feel encouraged, I turned on my computer and turned to my YT friends, who are with me in Survivorship and in Strength.

Dr. Mohammad Nabil Rashad, MD., PhD is visiting with us. He is a mentor, a former Professor of Anesthesiology with me during my residency. He was the nicest person then, and for this I can not turn a blind eye to his future. I wish Ihad the energy and the wherewithall to make him fit and secure and safe and polished. To make him the person that I remember. Some get mad at me and wonder how my husband can live with 'rotating' visitors, it seems. I don't know...God sent them to us and...what are we supposed to do? ...they will know we are Christians by our love, by our love, by our love....yes, they'll know we are Christians by our love.

My book went out a couple months ago. Some people just placed it on a shelf. Dust collector for all the deaths I have stared in the face. Some people eagerly stay up half the night reading it. All I know is that God gave me the words, the ability to lift my iv arms to the computer and type sometimes one finger at a time. I'm reading the book on YT for those who can not read, for those who can not get the book, for posterity's sake. I hope to generate increased hope, inspiration, and uplifting to those of us with my same plight. Each day is a gift, and not every one knows this yet.

Off to play with my child. Nothing like the eyes of a child. Unfortunately, her soul is 'old', as she spent 3 years wondering if her mother would be alive when this little one came home from school......even today, she runs to the car saying, "I want to sit next to Mommy. I miss Mommy."

Gotta love it. I've been on youtube/user/dysautonomiaMD for a while now; getting tons of hits in the name of the Lord.....I want everyone to be past their sufferings, in Heaven and reaching their stores of great treasures that await them.

God Bless You, all that have my love forever. We do the best we can. One day at a time.

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