Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Red Speedo Swimsuit

Well, for the first time in 5 years, I walked with my little one through Hidden Hills and together we went Trick or Treatin'. Five years. Unable to walk with the little princess or the pirate in years past, this year was altogether different.

I walked. Up and down some driveways...down to the next house...then up and down the driveway.....then down to the next house....

It was a miracle! It gave me such great joy to see my child, the little giraffe, anxiously await the door opening & trying to get as much candy as possible. It was crazy! We all got tired at the same time, and I was short of breathe....but Thank God....it was wonderful. A definite milestone.

Prior to this, I have always been an old lady in a wheelchair, robe and slippers on to keep my toes warm and snuggly. The best part of halloween was rolling down the driveways in the wheelchair, and trying not to fall over....it was a hilarious effort with little control and much ado.

This time, I saw busloads of kids dropped off, or some went via golf cart, or golf cart pulling hay stacks with kids sitting on them. (I could not help but think: no helmets, no border around the flatbed.....one wrong tilt and 'smoosh' .... I've seen enough brains in my lifetime. Other than that, there was the wonderful apple cider.)

One of the neighbors had a buffet table outside for us, and we could choose from hot apple cider, or hot chocolate, or water... and the hot apple cider was simply amazing. I can not remember the last time I had a glass of hot apple cider, but this was a wonderful aroma, steaming hot so that I had to take off the lid for a bit....and the taste of each drop was so different...I wanted to go back to the house for more! But of course the people would have been complimented and for that reason only, I should have gone back for more. But alas, we were ready to get in the car and go home.

So before this evening passes, I just wanted to commemorate this day. I slept 14 hours, but I walked. I looked at granite memorials for my father's burial. But I could walk! I tried to tie another bond, another shoe lace tie around my daughter...so that she could have some memories. So we went to Chuckee Cheese's and wow. I forgot my earplugs so the photo booth started driving me nuts, but it was a mostly empty restaurant anyway.

Here was a man who assumedly brought his daughter here to play. Out of the corner of my eye, I see that he has a fresh glass of beer awaiting him at the table...at ?1:00 p.m.... as if the joy of being a father required a stiff drink first. But the little girl....she hugged his neck....as he texted on his cell phone. And she ran away to play a few games while the beer gradually was emptied.
But I walked...and if I did it once, I can do it again.

My most fervent wish is to swim. A fish out of the water, I fantasize about donning a red Speedo swim suit...and doing laps in the 82 degree pool. To correctly paint the picture, I need a swim cap, goggles, a snorkle set, and then.....then I can pretend that I am a Junior Lifeguard again. Scoping out the pool. Eating lunch with the lifeguards. Staying inside while the pool closed for lunch. Doing flip turns.

Soon, I will come back and tell you how it felt to be in the water again.

My neck needs to be 'cleared' for all this activity, as there is a surgical scar bearing the marks of 4 screws, 2 synthetic discs, and 3 months of subsequent dysphagia. Couldn't bite a sandwich. Choked on my drinks, and on my food. Aspirated them into my stomach as I tried to cough them out...a little iced tea here ..... a bite of hamburger at a restaurant...people coming at me to do the Heimlick Maneuver because my face was turning blue.....

....all that is in the past and I can walk. I don't care how long I'll be able to walk. I only know that my Lord and my God is listening to the prayers of many people. And He is using me as a tool to show that dysautonomia is real, and to help save lives who would rather succumb into slumber.

I will sleep tonight knowing that I walked for Halloween. Believe me. There will be a small smile on my face in thanks of God and all of you. Thank you.

1 comment:

  1. Dear friend,

    You are an inspiration and a survivor, and now I need you to call me in North Carolina, because I am having to fight idiocy, hypocrisy, and cruelty in Charlotte, NC, related to my son's dysautonomia. I am the one who has also sent you a message from my Youtube channel about the Principal. Now the Principal is at it again and I have had it and am going to pull out all the stops to stop him from damaging my good name. He is calling me names now, like "bully" and I can't take it any more. So call me and let me know if I may use your blog post in the past as evidence that it is not just my mind that has perceived him as playing doctor, but also your mind. With your medical credentials, I need your word to lend credibility to my word that the Principal has been trying to playing doctor with me by cruelly challenging me, What would you do if I found doctors that disagree with your son's diagnosis?! etc. etc.

    In need of prayers in Charlotte, NC


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